Category Archives: Experts

The Long-Term Implications of Spanking

boy in white shirt and black track pantsPhoto by Pixabay on Pexels.com

For decades, spanking (also known as physical discipline or corporal punishment) has been used and thought of as an effective way to discipline children.

Parents, teachers, ministers, coaches, babysitters, and others have used force to keep kids in line, as punishment for misdeeds or to “teach them a lesson.” Sometimes, young children – even babies and toddlers – are spanked, hit and slapped.

Why resort to violence?

Generally, common sense or one’s own inner voice tells us that any type of physical force or violence is not appropriate or helpful in child-rearing. Yet, anyone who’s a parent (or teacher or babysitter or grandparent) knows that it is very easy to lose one’s patience and lash out at a child who is acting out, causing frustration in the home or classroom, not listening or talking back.

Last week, I received a press release stating that the American Psychological Association has adopted a resolution on physical discipline of children by parents. The findings won’t surprise you: Overall, the APA has amalgamated several studies showing that, over the long-term, spanking and other forms of physical discipline can:

  • cause harm to children’s mental health
  • negatively affect their cognitive, behavioral, social and emotional well-being
  • cause children to mimic their parents’ behavior and repeat the same patterns later in life

Most parents would never want to physically or emotionally harm their child and only use force out of aggravation or frustration. But, understanding the toll that physical violence takes on children is paramount to successful parenting.

Where to get help and guidance:

As we all know too well, parenting is one of the toughest jobs in the world. We need all the help we can get whether that’s from fellow parents, teachers, friends, neighbours, community resources, books, pastors or others. 

Personally, I think parents could use further free resources on parenting at different stages i.e. baby, toddler, elementary, teen, young adult, etc. There is so much to learn and grasp and so many questions popping up. Yes, there are various parenting programs available (especially in major centres) but perhaps a government run system of parenting workshops over time would be helpful both in the short and long-term.

Please see the short list at bottom of immediate helpful resources. A more fulsome list is coming soon.

Before I go… Let’s not forget the upside of mental health:

“Mental health” doesn’t have to be a downer or a negative thing. There are so many intriguing, fascinating, useful phenomena around mental health, illness and wellness.

For instance, one of my kids is in a new, progressive high school. Many of the teachers there use what is known as a “growth mindset.” I’ve heard about this philosophy recently in regards to adults and learning development. So, for a positive bent, I plan on writing in an upcoming post about understanding and taking on a “growth mindset.”

As always, feel free to like, follow, comment or contact me, any time.

Lisa

Helpful links & resources:

When Children Are Hoarders

This post contains affiliate links which means if you buy the item mentioned here I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

With TV shows like Hoarders still popular and everyone and their dog posting about how they KonMari’d” their kitchen, bathroom or office space, it’s no wonder that clutter (or lack thereof) is a constant source of conversation and consternation.

In the past, I’ve blogged about children & hoarding. One post is by guest blogger and professional organizer, Janine Adams and another is a round-up on the topic. I’ve also written articles about clutter and the art of cleaning up for Esperanza magazine.

For those who aren’t familiar with this phenomenon: According to a University of Florida study by Eric A. Storch et al, “Compulsive hoarding is characterized by the accumulation of useless items, associated clutter, and difficulty discarding hoarded items, which together cause interference in functioning (Frost & Hartl, 1996).”

That’s no surprise. But, according to this study, there might be differences between adults and kids who hoard, namely: clutter may be limited to a smaller area (e.g., the child’s bedroom) and the nature of the hoarded items is more constrained because of limited resources of children.

Interestingly childhood hoarding may also be associated with the following conditions:

  • Prader-Willi Syndrome
  • Anorexia Nervosa
  • Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
  • Autism
  • Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Do you or your child deal with clutter in bedrooms, cars or homes or, conversely, do you feel you need things to be constantly clean and tidy?

If you do have hoarding tendencies, don’t despair – there are treatments for both adults and children, including resources like the Centre for Mental Health & Addiction (Canada). If you wish, feel free to comment here or contact me. I’d love to hear from you.

Lisa

 

Sensitive much?

 

alone black and white boy child

Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

“Calm down, you’re just being sensitive…” “Oh, don’t pay attention to him, he gets so over-sensitive about everything.”

Sound familiar? Are you or your child often labelled as “sensitive” or “hyper-sensitive”?

Hypersensitivity is common in some types of people such as those with ADHD as well as people who are very creative. I’m sure you’ve heard artists, singers, dancers, painters, and actors who are known for their intense reactions to situations big and small.

I find the link between sensitivity and creativity fascinating. I recently discovered “The Highly Sensitive Person” or HSP which I believe is a term coined by Dr. Elaine Aron. I love her site and blog as well.

While there are many good and exciting things about being a sensitive person (better overall emotional intelligence and the ability to “get” others quickly), it can be annoying to oneself and to others. However, I’ve learned that it’s important to be true to one’s self no matter what – even if others would prefer you to act or think differently.

Do you know anyone who’s “hyper-sensitive” or “overly emotional”? Is that you or your child or spouse? Feel free to comment here or reach out to me via email.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doctor, Doctor

physician-symbol-hiThis is my final post for the 2015 Blogathon which was hosted by a professional freelance writing group to which I belong.

Thank you to those of you who hung on, read, liked and provided comments during the month. It was an excellent challenge but, truth be told, I’ll be happy to blog less frequently for the next little while.

Today my children and I had a doctor’s appointment. But, before I get to the crux of this post, let me back up for a moment… If you’re American (or, rather, if you’re not Canadian and not familiar with our medical system), you may think that finding a family doctor, booking an appointment, and seeking out appropriate medical treatment is easy-peasy. 

True, most medical appointments, treatments and interventions are “free” (paid for by tax dollars) but finding a family doctor in your area who is taking on new patients is no easy feat. And, booking an appointment with a doctor or specialist can take weeks or months. They’re that booked up!

My doctor works downtown and we are far uptown. Driving downtown, even for a short appointment, is a journey in itself.  Luckily, our doctor is an awesome woman whom we’ve seen for many, many years.  Today, it struck me how complicated medical intervention is for mental health issues.

What's around the corner?

What’s around the corner?

For example, let’s say your child has a broken arm: You drive to emergency, check in, have the arm x-rayed, diagnosed, casted and go to follow up appointments.

Or, let’s say your child has asthma. You have her tested, receive feedback, perhaps get a “puffer” or other medicine and learn to adapt. I realize it’s not always this easy but in many cases an injury or illness can be addressed directly.

Mental health conditions (for kids and adults) are generally never straightforward. Usually, other conditions have to be ruled out because there’s often no 100% accurate diagnosis. Then, even if a disorder is identified, say it’s ADHD or autism or schizophrenia or OCD, the treatment, counselling, meds, follow ups, etc. etc. are often tweaked and changed – possibly over the course of a lifetime.

“Wait and see” can be frustrating and tiresome for everyone involved. Sometimes a clean diagnosis (even for something scary) is less ominous than a “Well, we could try this but…” explanation with no real end in sight. Those of you who live with mental health challenges or parent someone who does will know exactly what I mean!

Round Up

232Only four more days to go!

As much as I love to write, blogging every day for 30 days isn’t always fun and comes with its own stress. Still, I’m happy to report that I only missed one day of blogging and now have a great deal of content to look back on and share with readers, editors and friends.

Today I want to do a round up of some of my favourite and the most popular posts on Kids and Mental Health:

For Extreme Parenting Read The Glass Castle – I’ve read this blisteringly honest memoir a few times. It’s a true story that you’ll never get out of your head once you’ve read it. Trust me on that.

Can Children Be Hoarders? This is by far the most popular post on my blog. I hadn’t realized that children can also have hoarding tendencies. Guest poster Janine Adams outlines how hoarding can start and what to do about it.

Is Your Kid’s Glass Half Full? This is also a popular post based on parents’ ability to influence positive thinking in our children. Not always easy to do when you’re tired or not feeling so positive yourself.

What topics would you like to see explored on this blog?

Shake It Up For ADHD

adhdAre you aware of the advocacy group CADDAC (Centre for ADHD Awareness Canada)? This organization (and its sister org CADDRA) is a useful resource for parents, families, psychologists, educators and those diagnosed with ADHD themselves.

Today, on the CADDAC blog, there’s a useful explanation of a new University of Mississippi study indicating that movement actually helps facilitate learning and growth for children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. From the study: “Hyperactive movements associated with the disorder may allow children with ADHD to enhance their cognitive abilities.”

This makes sense in many ways as many of us (even those without ADHD) feel the need to stand up, “fidget”, tap fingers or toes, twirl hair, or bounce up and down to get our creative juices flowing.

Sitting still for long periods of time not only inhibits healthy development and may cause severe health implications but, for children with ADHD, it can cause stress and dissuade imagination and working memory. 

Is positive thinking the key for kids?

Here’s more from U of M: “By allowing the hyperactive behaviors to continue, children with ADHD are able to increase their arousal and remain alert in the classroom. Yet conventional teaching and treatment methods demand ADHD children remain still, and the ability to focus on the lesson is lost in the child’s struggle to focus on not squirming or fidgeting, said Sarver.”

These days, many educators and teachers (at least in our school board) better understand that occasional movement, special seating arrangements, more frequent “health breaks” and re-imagined dynamics not only allows all students to more fully enjoy school but allows those with ADHD to fit in, become more engaged and reach their full learning potential.

While meds like Adderall or Vyvanse may work for some, others might be interested in choosing an alternative to Western medicine by way of natural supplement. Here’s an informative article that may shed light on questions about supplements: https://www.cognitune.com/best-natural-adderall-alternatives/

Please note: This article was shared by agreement with myself and Cognitune.

The Waiting Game

waitlistI’m sad to say I missed a day of blogging yesterday. Dock me ten points during the blogathon. ):

Ironically, I missed posting because I was attending a parent advisory board meeting for a mental health organization and passed out cold when I got home around 9 pm. This was the first meeting of a newly configured board of (mostly) women whose families are affected by mental health challenges.

One issue that always comes up when talking about mental health intervention is waiting lists. The waiting list is the torturous reality that most, if not all, parents and children face after contacting a government-run mental health care agency.

Rarely will a child be seen right away. If there’s a real crisis (and we joked last night about the clinician’s version of crisis versus the family’s version), families can head to their nearest ER and be seen within a few hours.

However, most families require short or long-term counselling and programs for their child in addition any crisis intervention.Because waiting lists are so long (many people wait 1o months or more before their first appointment), frustration, sadness and stress ensues.

What can be done? I’ll be posting more about Ontario’s changing mental health strategy (of which I have some insight) in the coming months. The Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario (CHEO) also has a decent list of ideas for children and families currently on waiting lists, including:

  • Checking in frequently with your family doctor
  • Putting your child or youth onto other lists for services in your community/city
  • Taking advantage of any employee insurance or private services (which can often happen within days) available
  • Spending good quality time with your child
  • Getting enough rest and having fun with the whole family in order to reduce stress

We have a long, long way to go before lists can be cut down to more reasonable wait times. Parents and kids with mental health challenges have enough on their plates and sitting on a waiting list for months at a time does nothing to counteract that frustration.