Tag Archives: socializing

When Vicious Behaviour Goes Viral

Towards the Light

Towards the Light

By now, most of the world has heard about Rehteah Parsons’ life and death.

Beautiful, young and said to show great compassion for both humans and animals, Rehteah was sexually assaulted at a party, photographed and then victimized all over again when the photo was posted and shared by who knows how many students.

Ironically, the cause of so much of Rehteah’s pain and torture (social media) is now one of the vehicles being used to express outrage and promote justice.

Just this morning I signed a petition on Change.org demanding an independent inquiry into the police investigation which declared that no crime had taken place regarding both the rape and distribution of graphic and revealing photos. There are also Facebook pages set up, tweets posted and emails being sent to Justice Minister Ross Landry.

Why does it take death and despair to invoke a change in our laws? How can we use social media in a way that’s innovative and useful without promoting hatred, bullying, stress and destruction? Obviously, the way we engage in and rely on social media must change. Now.

Wild: Boots and Hearts

Wild by Cheryl Strayed. Image from Amazon.com.

I just finished reading Wild by Cheryl Strayed. It was chosen by a book club member which gave me a reason to quickly purchase and read the memoir but I would have read it anyway given the fascinating subject matter.

The story centres on Strayed who, when she was 26 years old, decides to hike the Pacific Crest Trail after suffering a series of devastating events including the death of her cherished mother, a heroin binge and the disappearance of her abusive biological father.

Stayed admits she was woefully unprepared for the journey: She had never  backpacked overnight; she hadn’t tested her hiking boots or too-heavy backpack (which would end up being a serious mistake) and ventured out solo on an approximately 2,600-mile journey!

Still, through near-death experiences with rattlesnakes, wild life and creepy men and enduring excruciating injuries to her feet, Strayed reaches her goal, hikes the trail and changes her life forever.

I was proud to accompany Strayed on her hard-won journey (albeit wrapped up in blankets in the comfort of my home) and so admire her resilience and fortitude.

Have you read the book? What’s your take? Did you find the tale inspirational?

It’s Canadian ADHD Week: Learn. Understand. Inspire.

CADDAC’s 2012 ADHD Week banner

The Centre for ADHD Awareness Canada has launched ADHD Week. Celebrated October 14-21 2012, this week is meant to inspire, educate and inform.

In light of the launch, last Thursday and Friday I attended CADDAC’s annual ADHD Conference which was held in Markham, Ontario. The four day conference included distinct presentations for educators, parents, adults and girls.

Thursday night’s presentation was aimed at parents of children with ADHD. About 200 parents of children ranging from toddlers to those heading off to university took in a presentation from Dr. Kathleen Nadeau, a woman who has ADHD and an American licensed psychologist.

Here are highlights from Dr. Nadeau’s talk on ADHD-Friendly Parent Coaching:

  • Medication is NOT a magic bullet that solves all problems
  • Develop a CLOSE* relationship with your child
  • Don’t hold a grudge: you can be loving and still set limits and consequences
  • Get enough sleep. Work on your own bedtime as well as your child’s sleep habits
  • Perfection is not required! (Be a GEM = Good Enough Mom/Man)
  • Engage in “social engineering” to help your child make and keep friends
  • Proper nutrition, sleep and exercise is key
  • Anticipate and avoid the “upset zone” i.e. late afternoons
  • Understand the difference between a “punishment” and a “consequence” i.e. a consequence does not come from anger
  • Learn the art of habit-building to set the path for success later on in life

Do these tips and suggestions resonate with you? Do you know someone with ADHD to whom this could be helpful? Feel free to share this post and/or the ADHD Week Facebook page or share your comments on this blog. We all have a lot to learn.

*The CLOSE model involves: choices, consequences, collaboration, calm and consistent parenting, loving, looking out for good behaviour, special time every day, and empathy for your child.

New School Year, New Outlook

Bound for new horizons

Bound for new horizons

Like many children in Canada, today is the first day of school for my children.

Despite the hot, dry conditions much of Ontario endured this summer, it boomed with thunder, cracked with lightening and flooded with rain this morning.

Perfect way to start the school year, no? No.

Exhausted from lack of sleep (my older child must have gotten up about 18 times last night) and wet with rain, we scooted over to the local school and gathered in the gym. My son, whom I thought would be most nervous,  seemed happy with both his teacher and classmates. My daughter however was nervous, quiet and not pleased that one of her best buddies is in a different class this year.

As a parent I aim to present a positive, cheerful outlook without glossing over real anxieties. Honestly, I remember being pretty nervous about going back to school and seeing friends and teachers each year so why pretend it’s not a little nerve-wracking?

How will the first day of school pan out for my kids? Will there be cheers? Tears? Tales of gossip, friends who’ve moved, new teachers hired? I will discover all of this in about three short hours from now. Clock’s ticking…

The Play Date Conumdrum

Play with me?

Today is a slow day. I’m trying desperately to get ready for a full-time gig that’s coming up in the next few weeks.

My husband has a cold today and has plopped himself on the couch, yet the kids are bored and chores need to be done. My son has a play date scheduled for later today, and my daughter desperately wants to play with someone. We’ve tried two different neighbours but they’re both busy.

I have a tendency to take things too personally; whether that’s someone who doesn’t want to “play” with me or a kid that doesn’t want to play with my child. It’s not like there was  a date scheduled in advance – we just showed up at the neighbours’ doors but, I still think children should be pleasant and polite even if they can’t play. One child just said, “No” as soon as my daughter cheerfully asked if he wanted to play. However, the other child was much kinder with the father explaining that they’re putting on a party for relatives today. Completely understandable but my poor daughter is disappointed.

What do you think? How do you handle bored and distracted children? Do you tell other children to be polite and respectful or just bite your tongue? Do you just slough off no-go play dates?

Ode to a Blogathon

WordPress logo

As the WordCount Blogathon comes to a close (four more days!), I can say that, although I’ve blogged for myself and for organizations in the past, I’ve learned a lot about the art of blogging. This includes:

  • Using WordPress
  • Re-learning blogging basics (with assistance from Jane Boursaw)
  • The art of commenting
  • Creating compelling content
  • Publishing on the fly
  • Posting images
  • Sharing posts on Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook
  • Updating widgets and… a whole lot more. However, as you can see from the wonky bullet points in this post, I still have more to learn!

In addition, I’ve gained more knowledge about children’s mental health through new research, interviews with experts and through the useful comments that others have posted here.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I have met (mostly virtually) some wonderful fellow bloggers. Many of their sites are linked on my Blogroll on the right hand side of the main page. I encourage you to check out their blogs.

What do you love about blogging? Is it sharing information with others? Connecting with fellow bloggers? Learning new tools and tricks? Self-publishing? Social media? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Reaching Out: Q + A with Kids Help Phone Volunteer

Suzanne Shillington - Volunteer with Kids Help Phone

I’ve long been a fan of the work done by Kids Help Phone (KHP) as have the  225,622 Canadian youth who contacted the organization in 2010.

Kids Help Phone’s is Canada’s only bilingual, 24-hour, toll-free, confidential and anonymous phone and online counselling, referral and information for children and youth.
Here’s a Q & A with Suzanne Shillington, an Ottawa-based parent who has also been a dedicated volunteer with KHP for the last 2.5 years.

Q: Why volunteer with this organization?

A: I had been wanting to volunteer but felt it had to be something that had meaning for me. I found my calling when the 15 year old nephew of friends’ of mine, committed suicide. In their despair, his parents came forward to talk about their son’s mental health and asked that if people were considering making donations in his name, that they consider donating to Kids Help Phone.  I went online to research and when I saw what they were about, I contacted them right away to offer my help.

Q: What do you do as a volunteer?

A: I do many things to help, including:

  • I am on the Walk For Kids Help Phone Walk Committee here in Ottawa.
  •  Find Corporate Sponsors for the walk. We were thrilled to secure the Ottawa Senators Foundation as a sponsor. I also look for support from local businesses who may be able to help by providing raffle prizes for the Walk.
  • Raise awareness, speak to my many contacts, help to think of creative ways to fund raise, and attend workshops where kids participate to spread the word about Kids Help Phone.

Q: What’s made the biggest impact on you and why do kids call or reach out most to KHP?

A: I think what really hits me is, that, according to KHP’s research, “100% of young people will experience sadness, frustration, grief, stress…”. The top 3 reasons that kids contact KHP are: Mental Health (about 30% of calls and online posts relate to mental health, including eating disorders, self-harm and self-esteem); Peer concerns are the second most common reason followed by family concerns.

Q: Is there any particular story that stands out?

A: One story that really sticks with me: We had a speaker at this year’s Walk who said that KHP saved his life. He said that if KHP had not been there for him when he was younger he would have committed suicide. A counsellor talked him out of committing suicide and provided him with the help he needed. The young man was very inspirational and motivating.

Currently, Kids Help Phone uses these tools and initiatives to reach and respond to children:

1. Phone counselling (including three-way call)

2. Ask Us Online (a tool for kids and parents, and the place to access tip sheets)

3. Info Booth (age-appropriate information on more than 50 topics)

4. Virtual support community created by kids viewing kids’ posts and counsellor response

5. Interactive tools

6. Community referral database of more than 37,000 local agencies in 2,750+ communities across Canada

7. IM/Chat professional counselling pilot (coming in Fall 2011)

Thank you, Suzie, for your time and generosity.